BreakingEarly

Bringing you the news before it happens

Feds to Uncover Nature Reserve Plot; Hundreds of Animatronics Confiscated

by Emma Taylor

Nov 30 2009

No, you’re not dreaming—these electric sheep are for real and lifelike enough to fool thousands of Canadians. Even now, countless unsuspecting nature lovers are paying ten bucks a head to see what they believe to be authentic animals in their natural habitat. It won’t be until a Tuesday in midsummer that the proper authorities will [...]

Martian Robots to Build Army

by Buck Windmill

Oct 5 2009

Sources say that the robots that we have sent to Mars will be building factories and replicating themselves at an alarming rate, starting tomorrow. Nobody knows exactly what weapons these fearsome machines will wield, but experts agree they will be deadly in some way.