After 35 years in the Cook County DMV, Ronald J. Hacket will be reunited with his family this coming weekend. For the last 35 years, he has been awaiting his ticket to be called. Unbeknownst to him, his ticket was actually called ten minutes after he arrived in 1965. However, he missed the call because [...]

In shocking news, after a laborious six-month Senate hearing process, the Players Union for Major League Baseball will decide to prohibit the use of steroids as long as MLB adheres to their demands.
“We really mean it,” Bob Mitchell will say, speaking for the Union, “As long as MLB stops drug testing, the players have agreed [...]