BreakingEarly

Bringing you the news before it happens

Michael Bay to Make Movie Without Explosions

by Justin Allard

Apr 19 2010

In a reversal from his usual movie-making style, Michael Bay will decide to make a movie without any explosions. The shift, which will come after the release of his next movie, Things Go BOOM, will prove that Mr. Bay is able to make films with a feasible plot outside of youngsters falling in love and [...]

Too Sexy for My … Spleen? Cosmetic Organ Removal to Turn Heads on Paris Runways

by Emma Taylor

Mar 22 2010

Paris, France—The cutting edge of fashion will never seem so sharp as new fall styles hit the catwalks all across Europe in 2012. As the models mount their towering heels and prepare to strut for the camera, the savvy observer will know there is more to their rail thin figures than dieting alone can accomplish.
In [...]

Old Aphorism to be Questioned after Watershed Experiment with Monkeys and Typewriters

by Emma Taylor

Feb 22 2010

Los Angeles, CA—Stephen Matthews, a local retired literature professor from U.S.C. will expend his remaining fortune in early autumn of this year for the sake of satisfying his professional curiosity. After an unremarkable career, and several months at Sunny Hill Retirement Home, Mr. Matthews and his roommate, famed German statistical mathematician Friedrich Barker, will join [...]

Controversial New Reality Show to Cause a Stir

by Emma Taylor

Feb 1 2010

Hollywood, CA—Coming to the new fall lineup in 2010 will be the latest batch of reality shows to daze and titillate the masses. One among them however will be distinguished by ratings and scandal. Hailed as “shockingly conventional” and “inevitable” by some, The Coliseum will still take a small, sheltered portion of the population by [...]

Extreme Identity Theft to Become a Problem in Mid-2008

by Emma Taylor

Dec 21 2009

Boston, MA – Lucas McFinney, a struggling actor from Boston will get the surprise of his life this August when he discovers he’s been the first documented victim of extreme identity theft in U.S. history. The startling revelation will come after an odd phone call from his mother congratulating him on his starring role in [...]

Gender Blender: Artists Lobby for True Sexual Equality

by Emma Taylor

Dec 7 2009

Though art has advanced far beyond the era of the economically placed fig leaf, some will argue that the art world still harbors many prudish and outmoded traditions. Since the first caveman scratched phallic symbols of masculine virility in the ashes of his fire pit, artists everywhere have limited their models to a single [...]