Ankara, Turkey—Turkey will launch a world wide call for freelance scientific geniuses, specifically ones with a background in lasers and no “prejudice against super villainy.”
To questions voiced by the press, Abdullah Gül, Turkey’s controversial young president with a penchant for the dramatic, will decline to give specifics about his research goals. Dressed head to toe in [...]

Like so many technological advances, fiddling with the genetic makeup of produce will have unforeseen consequences. In 2012 the International Coalition of Improved Agriculture will reluctantly report on the results of their experimentation. Though the “super” crops they breed will have many benefits, such as increased yields and extended growing seasons, the Coalition will warn [...]

In shocking news, after a laborious six-month Senate hearing process, the Players Union for Major League Baseball will decide to prohibit the use of steroids as long as MLB adheres to their demands.
“We really mean it,” Bob Mitchell will say, speaking for the Union, “As long as MLB stops drug testing, the players have agreed [...]

Las Vegas, NV – It will be easy to trace the downward spiral of Las Vegas’ most successful call girl, Cecilia Minor, aka Pepper. Formerly an acclaimed adult escort, Minor will throw away her pleasure industry empire with one illicit foray into local politics.
“It all started when I took that learning annex course in Political [...]